My Hazy.

So here we are. Getting ready for Charlie's first Christmas. It's been an emotional one for me. Being here in Hometown, knowing how excited my family is, makes me realize how excited everyone else would be too... My grandparents and aunts who are no longer here. 

Earlier this week, a cousin started a facebook thread asking for my Aunt's fudge recipe. This became a tear-filled stroll down memory lane. Then today, my Mom brought over a binder of my aunts recipes. Her favorites. She made notes and commented on which she loved, what she did differently, and how she made them. She also marked down the date she made it and who was there. There were so many "made with Rachel" recipes in there. On all of them she commented on, she signed it "Hazy." I'm the only person who called her Hazy. Only me. Looking through this binder today, which she compliled in 2004, from recipes she had dated as far back as 1985, I realized she made it just for me. I didn't even know this binder existed. So today as I sat, crying, laughing, and remembering this crazy, amazing lady of mine, I felt her love. A lady I've missed every day since 2007, I felt her. Today.  And it was incredible. 

For my teensy little boy.

So World Prematurity Day was this week. My newsfeed has been filled with pictures and stories of babies who arrived before they were expected. A lot of them were delivered at 35 weeks and even later. I see these babies, tiny, sick, undeveloped, and it amazes me that Charlie was as perfect as he was when he was born. I've questioned Doctor J so many times about whether or not his due date was accurate. Every time she tells me yes, it was right based on measurements and development.

My happy, curious, active little boy stuns me every day. He loves to learn and discover new things. He loves to watch the big kids play outside in our street. He loves Hank, and Hank loves him. One day soon, he'll love to walk!! I feel like he's within days of being upright!

Light bulb.

Sooo. I had an epiphany today. So far in Charlie's life, I've thought motherhood was fairly easy. All in all, Charlie hasn't been a difficult baby. Bob and I have rolled in to parenthood fairly seamlessly. Until last week.

Charles. Is. Mobile.

Last week, he decided to crawl, climb, and cruise. And this week, he's trying to walk. Holy balls. I spend my days chasing this kid, watching his every move, staying on edge to catch him, keeping he and Hank's toys separate so no teeth are shown. Charlie has 4 going on 7, by the way.

We have entered a whole new quarter in this ballgame. It's fun, but exhausting!

I'm back. Again.

Just how many times do you think I can make a comeback? I'll let you know someday. 

So the last few months, I have gotten involved in two different mom groups. I have gotten more involved in our neighborhood. I am leaving our bubble. And it's awesome. 

Before Charlie, there's no way I would have had the guts to walk up to a group of women I met online and introduce myself. No way, Jose. Yet here we are. With a full calendar and many, many new friends. 

For this, I owe Charlie. My sweet, giggly, happy, puppy dog-loving, boy. Every day I'm so grateful I get to stay home with him. Even when he wakes up ridiculously early, has as fussy butt day, refuses to nap, and makes a massive mess... I love my days with him. When Bob is home, he is 1000% hands on and amazing. But when he and Charlie have breakfast together and naptime or bathtime and bedtime, I miss my baby. I find this so surreal. I can be with him all day long, patience tested, hair pulled (by him and me), yet if I don't get those breakfast giggles or bedtime snuggles, I'm sad. I know it's only going to get worse rhe older the gets. And I suppose I'm okay with that. I don't want to say I didn't love him right away, because I absolutely did. But somehow I still love him more and more every day. It still just amazes me. He amazes me. 

Had enough sappy blabbling? Okay.  Here are some pics instead... 

Why, hello there.

So you may be asking yourself... what could possibly bring her out of her life-imposed blog silence after two months? The answer: EBOLA. E-freaking-bola.

In the 4th grade, I did a book report on Ebola and Bubonic Plague. Literally ever since, I've been obsessed with it. When Ebola broke out in Liberia, I knew about it before US news stations caught wind. When there was a single case of Bubonic Plague in China this summer, guess who was following it? This girl. (Btw- no one else got it besides the one guy.)

Being the wife of an airline pilot has it's own inherent risks. I've always been concerned with Bob's potential proximity to recycled germs. Now that Ebola has taken to the skies, my paranoia has taken my heart rate to stupid levels.

My husband, being the good Southern, well-mannered boy that he is, will stop and help anyone in the airport. They ask, he helps. They look lost, he helps. They're bleeding from their eyeballs and puking everywhere, he better not stop to effing help. We had to have this conversation this week.

This morning before he left for a trip to Texas (yay, better than Cleveland, I suppose), we had a frank discussion about Ebola. I'm not afraid of us getting it. I'm scared shitless of Charlie getting it. Is it unreasonable for me to be this afraid? Probably. But that's not stopping me from worrying about it. For the first time in my life, I'm responsible for someone's health other than my own. Holy crap.

Where's the beef, Mama?

If you had told me a year ago that we would be having this much fun, I'd have laughed in your face. This kid. Seriously. So. Much. Fun. Charlie is so happy and giggly and hammy. And the rolls. Dude has legit fat rolls, that I spend most of my days pinching. I'm so excited to take this ball of squish to his doctors check up tomorrow. They won't recognize this ham from the 4lb9oz fuzzball I brought in 6 months ago.

So. My boy has started eating. FOOD! So far, we've had sweet potatoes, avocado, and applesauce. I was going to do baby led weaning and still may, but for now, we're loosely eating homemade baby food. I say loosely, because he eats under 5 bites all told. Today, he fed himself with his spoon. Yep. Just under 6 months old and using a utensil.

This week, I purchased a high chair. A whopping $15 one from Ikea. I refuse to spend a shit ton of money on something that will need to be easily hosed off after every meal. $15? done. 

Playing with the drool rag that we must keep handy 24/7. This kid is a faucet. His first tooth has broken through, but it's nearly impossible to actually get a picture of it. 

 

Yesterday was our first real play date with my mom's group. Cupcakes and then the park.  Here are Benjamin and Charlie. All the kids there had great names... 

Alexander, Greyson, Graham, Benjamin, and Charlie.

There are now full out conversations with Murphy, the sheep dog.

 

And his new favorite place to chill, his chair. 

OH hai!

SO. I was planning to go back and "catch up" on my blogs. Every time I sit down to do it, I get busy. Apparently 5 month olds keep you on your toes. 5 MONTH OLD? Yes. My sweet, tiny, preemie, couldn't wait to get here baby is 5 months old. Closer to 6 at this point if you're counting. Or you're my mother in law. Hi, Meme, if you ever happen to read this.

We've taken several trips. We've gone to Louisiana a couple of times, Charlie had his first flight to Maine in June, and last night he had his first food... sweet potatoes. He's found his hands, his feet, my hands, my feet, Hanker's hands, Hanker's feet... you get the point. He is soooo inquisitive and amazing. He's at the age where he sees everything. He's always looking around. I love it. He's getting so interactive and giggly. OH the giggles. I never thought I'd be the kind of person who acts a total fool for their child, but here we are. With me acting like a goob to get this boy to giggle. Be still my heart.

The whirlwind nature of mine and Bob's courtship, marriage, and life has no slowed down at all. Charlie has just been folded into the mix, and we've all adjusted pretty well. Later this month will be our three year engagement-iversary. Holy crap. It barely seems like it's been a year.

I'm going to try to start blogging regularly again. But things come up. Like spit. And drool. And sweet Jesus, hopefully some teeth soon.

See you peeps around!

The BIG road trip.

Since I'm not the smartest person in the world, I decided to take a road trip alone. With a baby. And a dog. From South Carolina to Louisiana. Not smrt.

We started off the weekend in Atlanta to celebrate SJ's third happy day. How the balls is she three already?! We somehow survived the first leg of drive down there. We stopped once to eat, poop, and rearrange.

After the weekend, we headed West to LA. It took a good 9 hours to get there, with a stop at each state line rest area. Charlie did amazing... until Vicksburg, where he decided he did not want to get back in his carseat. So he then proceeded to scream the rest of the 100 miles to Hometown.

We stayed for a little over a week, celebrated Mother's Day, and then went to Mississippi to see Meme. We eventually made it back to Atlanta, and then back home, not a moment too soon. A now, a pictorial...

 

My road trip buddies. 

Atlanta. 

All dressed up in big boy clothes for Rah Rah's party!

 Rah Rah taking a bow after we sang Happy Birthday to her. 

 

Sweet sleeper. 

 Charlie got to meet his great great Aunt Daisy! She's the original Charlie's big sister.

He also got to meet his special Aunt Lala (Fertile Myrtle). 

 Plenty of back porch sitting in Hometown for these boys. 

 Daddy was out of the country, so we sent lots of selfies to him.

 Pa, Daddy, and Charlie hanging out.

 No, Mommy. I will NOT smile. 

 Papa and Charlie chatting.

 Uncle Ryan and Michelle. 

 Me and my boys!

Cute little bunnies.

We survived Charlie's first road trip! For Easter, we went down to Atlanta to spend the weekend with Aunt Carly and half of the grandparents. Charlie did great! He and Hanker shared the back seat. Somehow we managed to cram all of our crap, Charlie's crap, Hank's crap, and ourselves in the car somehow. I'm still not sure how we fit all that into my sedan and still had room to breathe.

Since we're establishing a pictorial pattern here, I give you... Easter.

 

  The scariest mall bunny I've ever seen...

 

 Concentration. 

  

Road trip buddies!

 

 Cutie.

 Our first attempt at a basket. I think we did well. 

 We also celebrated my birthday. SJ was sweet enough to help me blow out my candles. 

 Someday his newborn clothes will fit. Sadly, that day is not today.

 Charlie and Meme both waving during the Easter egg hunt. 

Two sleep deprived parents. Yay for sunglasses.

Very pro pics. VERY.

We finally got Charlie's professional newborn pics back. I'm in LOVE with them all. Seriously. I want to put them all over our house. I'm trying to reign it in, but gah. Here are a few of my very most favorites... All by Kristen Hinson Photography.

My favorite little bug.

Words cannot describe how much I love this kid. 

The First Charlie.

Today is a pretty special day. It's the original Charlie's birthday! She was so very special to Bob and his family. The few times I met her, I easily saw why. She was an amazing, sweet, genuine lady. I know she would love our little Charlie so very much.

Remembering people like Charlie is something that is important to me. Our little Charlie needs to know about all the awesome people Bob and I have had in our lives. The people who helped make us who we are, the people in the forefront of our special memories, the people we still miss every single day. We will continue to celebrate this day year after year! 

From one Charlie to another... 

Happy Birthday, Charlie! 

It's official.

Charlie and I are alone for the first time. For days. For 4 days. Holy balls.

He still has his cold, but he's sleeping better. Last night he only woke up one time! Woo hoo! I see light. It may be a nightlight at 4am, but hey, it's still a light toward the end of the tunnel. Hopefully. 

We are getting ready for our first trip away from home. It isn't until Easter, but I'm already nervous about it. It'll be just Charlie and I driving to Atlanta. Just the logistics bother me. How do I go pee? Do I take the carseat in? Take Charlie out and put him in a wrap carrier? Will he sleep the whole time? Do I wake him up to feed him where I'm comfortable stopping or when he's starts screaming? SOO MANY QUESTIONS. I know it'll be fine. I'm just anxious. Time to break out the big girl panties again. And not just because I haven't dropped all the baby weight...

And that's another thing. At what point do you buy new clothes and give up hope of fitting in pre-preg clothes? Well. That point for me was this week. I went shopping, and for the first time (maybe ever) I HATED all the clothes. Not just the fit, I hated the styles and colors. I found a few things at Loft and Old Navy. I refuse to spend a whole lot on new clothes. Eventually I fit back into my old ones. Eventually. Right?!

And now, a photo filled post...

Can I have these boobs, Mom? Typical boy... already after some boobs. And check out that head control? Super baby.

I love pissy baby pictures.

He loves his monkey. When Bob deployed, I gave him a sock monkey drenched in my perfume before he left. We named him Don Juan (DJ), and I call Charlie's monkey, Junior (as in Don Juan Junior).

He's finally able to wear newborn clothes! They finally fit!!! Yay!

Melting.

Charlie has started extending his arms as if to hug us while we hold him.

Melts. My. Heart.

And yes, this child is either naked (in only a diaper) or wearing a long sleeve white onesie 99% of the time. That's what happens when your clothes don't quite fit yet!

Burning the midnight oil.

Or maybe the 4am oil, perhaps.

Charlie has his first cold. A cold that he apparently picked up AT the doctors office earlier this week. I adore our pediatrician and his staff. They are all awesome. I don't, however, love their waiting room. There is no division between perfectly healthy newborns there for their well baby checks and the snot nosed, puking, or bleeding 1-18 year olds. It's just aggravating. To go to the doctor and then get sick.

So anyway. We're dealing (meaning, I'm freaking out) with this new illness. I never knew baby poop could be so disgusting. My facebook friends have told me it gets worse, but holy balls. Tonight I made Bob change him. It was just as bad as it was last night. It literally seems like something crawled in his ass and died, and then came back out as green pudding. Yes, I know you all wanted that vision. Sorry. If I have to deal, so do you. You're lucky Bob didn't get his way tonight... He wanted to take a picture of it and send it to his friends. Thank GOD he didn't have his phone in the room with him, and I refused to go get it.

Bob goes back to work next week, and I'm already dreading it. It's going to suck being here alone. Not just dealing with Charlie alone, but actually being alone and not having anyone to talk to. I've had at least one other person in this house every day since February 21. It's going to be so quiet and boring here, and I've already binge-watched all of Orange is the New Black. Damn Netflix... I didn't realize the new season wasn't out yet. 

It happened. I'm official.

So. A few hours ago, I experienced something I knew would happen eventually. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

I changed a diaper. And promptly puked.

I feel like I'm a real Mom now.

Happy Due Date!

Today is the day my squishy little bug was due. I can't imagine the last 5 weeks without him! He seems like so much a part of our lives already. It's weird to think he should just now be here.

Last night we tried to move him to his room for the night. It went...well? He and I both lasted until around 5am. I know it will get better. We just have to give both of us time! In the meantime, here are some pictures to take up space since I need to go feed him and stop blogging.