A much needed trip.

Steel Magnolias came on television last night. I watched it and cried the whole time. Like the entire length of the movie. For some reason, it made me ridiculously homesick. I haven't been home since Christmas, and this is the longest it's been since I've seen my family. Like, ever.

I chose to go home next weekend for a few reasons. Sunday is my Dad's 60th birthday. For our own health and well being, we decided against throwing him a surprise party. I value my life too much to receive the wrath of my father when it comes to parties, especially ones in his honor. He and my mom threw me a surprise 16th birthday party, and he didn't even come to that. He HATES parties. Weddings? He can handle if you're his child. Otherwise dude does NOT do parties. Like, ever.

A childhood/high school friend is getting married next weekend as well. It's a very formal, traditional Indian wedding. I got a kicking new dress, I'm debating some new heels, and I'll be rocking a new pashmina. I'm super excited she found her a "nice Indian boy" and that we get to celebrate with them. I'm taking advantage of this invitation, because this will probably be my only chance to experience an Indian wedding. Like, ever.

It's going to be hard to cram everything in to a few days. Also on the agenda: See Lacey and my favorite little boys, hang with Mom, go horse back riding with Dad (pics to come), teach Dad how to use his Kindle Fire (the phone calls aren't working), meet BL's new girlfriend, and then spend every other possible second with the g'rents.

I'm ready to go NOW!

SOLD!

In my current world, with little to no carpet in the downstairs and a torn up, grassless yard, this particular grassless yard makes me happy happy happy.

It's the site of our future home. With a sold sign on the lot. Holy balls.

I used to love trees...

If you're interested, I'm currently blogging live from a dismantled living room. I am just about sick of having a disheveled house and parts that are off limits.

Yesterday, they came and ripped up all the affected carpet. They'll be back later this week or next to remove ALL the carpet from downstairs and start taking down walls. They're going to cut the drywall out around the bottom of ALL the walls of the bathroom, since sewer water flowed under and through them all. This means that we will get the "open concept" we wanted in a house. Ha. We currently have FOUR dehumidifiers running to try to dry the walls out before removal. This makes it hard for me to stay awake downstairs. I have to sleep with white noise at night, and with 4 machines running, it's like sleepy time city, baby. 

The start of "the dig." I feel like it's an archaeological site. Like we built on sacred Indian burial ground (a la Poltergeist) and that's why we have such ridiculous things wrong with this house. See all those roots?! This is the neighbors pipe... (and a peek at my new car in the background :)

And we won't even call this a "root".... This is our sewer pipe. With a freaking tree growing out of it. Nice, huh? 5 feet long. Ridiculous.

The neighbors pipe below... which water is SUPPOSED to run through that. Turns out, about 6 units on our side of the street have been replaced as of today. They all looked just as bad or worse than ours. But of course, ours was the only one to back up into the house. On one hand, I'm thankful that we can spare someone else the headache of a sewer back up, but at the same time, damn it, why couldn't someone else be teaching this damn lesson! Gah!

So needless to say, every single damn water pipe on our new property will be clearly marked before I start planting trees. I may even have a locator come out and find the pipes as I'm digging holes for trees. I think I'll give myself a 20 foot radius in which no rooted plants will be planted. That should be good, right?

Holy shit. Literally.

There are no words strong enough or harsh enough to describe my level of anger right now.

So our kitchen sink stopped draining tonight as I was washing dishes. It eventually started working and we didn't think much of it, besides the fact that I would get a bottle of draino tomorrow. Then I started the washing machine. As soon as it hit the cycle where the water drains out, we had a gushing, spewing geyser/water fountain in the downstairs bathroom, shooting out of the toilet. We shut off the water valve to the toilet, but water kept gushing out.

Turns out, (after a $200 visit from Roto Rooter) our sewer pipe is busted in front of the house from tree roots, it backed up, and raw sewage came bursting into our house, via the toilet. It flooded the bathroom, the hallway, seeped through the walls, into the laundry room, the kitchen, and the living room, killing the carpet and the hardwood in the bathroom... all this in a span of 3 minutes as Bob ran out to grab the shop vac and I turned off the washing machine.

Soooooo. Bottom line- I hate this house. At this point, after the broken/leaking ac, the kitchen mold, and now the backed up sewer, we are talking about selling this piece of crap, taking a loss, and getting the hell out as soon as our new house in complete. Hell, maybe even before it's complete. I'd live in a half competed house if it meant I could get out of this hell hole sooner.

According to the plumber, the city isn't responsible because this land was purchased by an independent contractor and all the pipes were done by them during construction. We've been in touch with our HOA tonight and will get back in touch first thing in the morning, along with our insurance agent and possibly a lawyer. The fact that I had RAW SEWAGE IN MY HOUSE TONIGHT, does NOT sit well with me. I'm angry. These peeps better be happy to be dealing with (red-headed) Bob instead of me. I don't have my Mama's red hair, but I got the by-product of it... a temper when needed. And by God, I need it now.

Please think happy, restraining thoughts on behalf of the people we have to deal with in the upcoming days. They have no idea the level of fury that may unleashed on them, especially once Bob leaves for work on Thursday and I have to deal with all this LITERAL SHIT by myself.

They all spend the same.

SO. I'm kinda on an ebay kick. I found Bob a birthday present on there and it arrived today in a moderate size box. Covered in 13 cent stamps. 50 of them. Wow.

Back in college, Bob and I switched birthdays. It happened one year when his mom brought him flowers for his birthday, and then he gave them to me. So I get gifts on his and he gets gifts on mine. This year, I've gotten him two things he's wanted for a while, but not enough to purchase for himself. Soooo. I'm pretty pumped to give them to him next month... on my actual birthday!!

Sadie Green.

So. My most favorite-est great aunt's name was Sara Green. She never had children, so my Mom kinda became her surrogate child since my grandparents worked non-stop 24/7. When I came along, naturally I became her baby too. I really can't put into words what she meant to me. She was just the perfect aunt.

When I was growing up, her house was just magical. She had a wall of all our photographs, from her great-grandparents down to me and BL, all her siblings, all their kids, all the cousins, everyone, and most in black and white. She also hung lots of random things, one of which was sheet music from the song Sadie Green: The Vamp of New Orleans. It's not the most flattering song in the world, but it was special. One of her nicknames was Sadie, she adored New Orleans, and it fit her wild child personality pretty well.

Anyway. When she passed away, one of my great uncles snagged it off her wall before I could get there. I've been searching for this sheet music for YEARS, specifically since she passed away in 2007. And tonight, I WON IT ON EBAY! Omg.

I can't wait to mat and frame it and hang it our new house!!

Hanker's new hairdo.

Hank the Tank got his first big boy haircut this morning. He looks so skinny now!

The ladies said he was a good boy and played well with all the other doggies. They kept him around 3 hours, during which time I went and purchased him a horse stall. I mean, a large size crate. He outgrew his "intermediate" one, so we went up a size. And it's freaking gigantor. Good thing we're building a bigger house... the new one barely fits in our living room!

Bark Box!

So, ya'll know Hank is spoiled, right? Well, now it's official. I don't remember where I saw it, but I came across Bark Box. It's a monthly treat box for super rotten doggies. Our very first one came in the mail today. We just did one month as a trial to see how we'd like it. Since the Hanker loves it, we'll be ordering again. Maybe monthly. But don't tell Bob... I'll be using my newly acquired paycheck and not future house funds. Maybe.

Checking out the box.

The goods: A stuffed bone and rat (which is already minus one ear), a sample container of poop bags, and two bags of all natural treats,  

Feel Good Treats Classic Ranch Bars and Perfect Peanut Butter Little Eatz.

"Is all this really for me, Mom?"

Sniffing it out to make sure it's all legit.

Already bestest friends with his new rat, Ralphie. As you can see, Ruby the puppy dog, and Daisy the cow have fallen by the wayside. Ralphie is now king. 

(And yes, we name all his toys, and yes, he knows their names.)

 

Like them on facebook or visit their website. They have a coupon right now for $10 off your first box. So for just $19, your princess pup can get all this! Hard to beat!

Green monster.

Holy crap. See that bright green spot on the right middle side? That's where our house is gonna be! Squeeeee!

My arch enemy.

This is a Bradford Pear tree. The bane of every allergy sufferers existence. They haven't started blooming in Charlotte yet, but it's only a matter of time.

This is a picture taken yesterday by a budding photographer via his flip phone. Yeah. Daddy has two Bradford pears in his front yard. This is one of them. The other is just as ridiculous.

I'm very much looking forward to my first Spring in Charlotte. It's guaranteed to be quite fabulous and sneezy.

Lot 47.

Please allow me to introduce you to Lot 47. And the house directly behind it. I'm not entirely certain why it's been painted green, but I really don't care as long I get a house there.

I don't think I told ya'll about where this house is located. Ever hear of Heritage USA? Well... It was a massive Christian theme/water/amusement park built by the Bakkers in the late 70's. I'd never heard of it before moving to Charlotte, but apparently (according to wiki) it was a top tourist destination in the 80's. It was this ridiculously huge compound. People bought timeshares and condos. There was a full working castle, a farm, a pyramid, a barn, and an amphitheater.

Once the Bakkers went bust, the land was sold off. All that remains of the compound are a high rise tower, which is part condos, part hotel, part offices, and part who knows what else, the castle still stands, but the amphitheater was torn down about a month ago. There is still a campground, but I'm not sure if it's the original or not, and also some sort of religious group/news station headquartered there.

I feel a little weird living there. Kinda like we're building on an ancient burial ground (a la Poltergeist). It's just a little strange when you actually stop and think about it. Supposedly millions of people visited this place. It's just odd that it's 95% neighborhoods now.

Anyhoo. We are still waiting on our appointment to go to "showroom," which is where we pick out EVERY GD THING. The exterior (colors, materials, design), the inside (colors, cabinets, countertops, floors, stair rail, door handles...), and we choose the landscaping as well. Holy balls. My head is already about to explode and we haven't been there yet. Bob isn't the best decision maker, so I've been trying to pick stuff out and agree with him on stuff beforehand. Once we go to showroom, we have three days to change our minds about anything. After three days, it's $500 per change. WTF? Yeah. So we won't be making changes. Bob might stroke out.

 

So one day this fall, this lot will have a house on it. Balls. 

Old Ladies R Us.

So apparently I'm the epitome of a sad, old, out of touch, white lady. I thought Bruno Mars was a skinny white guy with glasses. He's not. I have NO IDEA who I was picturing as Bruno Mars, but after seeing his picture tonight, I realized just how incorrect I was. The guy I thought he was is kind of a cross between Moby and Michael Buble. Nerdy. Glasses. Non-descript hair cut. Who knows.

Speaking of old ladies... today I got to reprise my high school role of cheerleader. I was elected cheerleader at the wheelchair race at work. I pulled out some good cheers too. Oh yes, I did. No tumbling, though. They were all impressed with my enthusiasm and spirit.

In case you didn't know, I WAS given the "Spirit Award" at my high school graduation. Oh yea, baby. That meant I walked across the stage three times. That was three times too many. My daddy was sitting in the audience taking bets with all the peeps sitting around him on WHEN, not IF, I would fall mid-stride. Don't you love when parents have complete confidence in their children?! As payment for those bets, I broke his finger that night. He was seated on the aisle. As we processed back up the aisle after graduating, he stuck his hand out to shake mine. My adrenaline, from not falling across stage three times, was pumping so good that I squeezed his hand so hard it broke his finger. True story. But he's left handed, and he stuck out his right hand. So no real harm done. Except for the broken bone. Oops.

So yeah. Anyway. This old lady has the most perfect job ever... working with and cheering on other old ladies. Perfect.

Sofas, tables, and chairs, OH MY!

So. All the paperwork is done. We're building a freaking house. OMG. It's sinking in. We have to furnish approximately 3,000+ square feet of home. Bob is scared shitless. And rightfully so. I already have a Pinterest board for the furniture we'll need. I keep hinting we don't just need a construction loan, but a furniture loan also. He's not buying it. And by not buying it, I mean the part about the loan. He's gonna be buying furniture though. Lots. So much so that I'm trying to talk him into renting a storage unit so we can start buying now as stuff goes on sale.

Think happy furniture buying thoughts for us (me)!

Houses and bugs.

Sooo. I've been absent for a while. And it's going to get worse.

Bob and I have been so busy. He had this weekend off (his only one for months and months) so we celebrated with a crawfish boil and a new house. WHAT!?! Yep. You read that correctly. We had crawfish shipped in from Louisiana and had an amazing boil Friday night. It was super awesome and Bob did a phenomenal job with the mudbugs. Tonight, we had andouille and crawfish etouffee. Whew. It was superb.

Now, about the other thing... SQUEEEE! We've been looking at houses for several weeks now. We'd seen a couple we liked, but none we just had to have. So, next best thing? Build your own. So this afternoon, we bought a lot in Fort Mill, SC, and we start construction as soon as all the 9,000 pieces of paperwork go through. Holy crap.

It's going to be huge for the two of us (we're planning ahead), but it's going to be perfect. We get to pick every single detail out and I'm so excited about that! Hank and Jack are going to have more room than they know what to do with, and all our close friends and family will each have their own dedicated bedroom (until the babies come). Squeeeeeee!!

So about my absenteeism... This will probably turn into a house blog, because I'll be bitching about all the house details. But maybe not. Stay tuned and find out.