One year.

It's been one year since four men were lost. Robbie, Paul, Ryan, and Joe. 

It's been one year since their families had to learn to live without them. 

It's been one year since Andy and Josh survived the crash that changed their lives forever. 

It's been one year of them trying to relearn how to be "normal" again.

It's been one year, but it seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at the same time. 

MAFFS 7 will always be remembered. 

Sappy Saturday.

Some days I realize just how lucky I am. Usually these are days when Bob is home. This morning, we walked Hank down to the waffle shop in our neighborhood, sat outside, and had a lovely breakfast.

This past week was our two year first-date-iversary. At this point, we've known each other for 11 years. We've been "together" for two, married for a little over one. We spent the week together, doing all the things we love.

When I stop to think about what we have with each other, I still get weepy. Sad, I know. We both acknowledge our joint sappiness frequently.

You always hear people say, "I married my best friend." They start dating and then become best friends. We became best friends and then got married. We truly have the very best of both worlds. Finally.

This concludes this edition of Sappy Saturday. 

Two way training.

So it's been ridiculously awesome to have Bob back home! I'm so happy his training is over. However, he's only home this week, and then he's gone again. I pretty much won't see him until our vacation at the end of July. I may get a day here or there, but that'll be it. It's going to suck, but at this point, I'm sadly kinda used to it.

This week while he's been home, I've noticed that he's pretty well trained. He likes to say that he's trained me, but I've also trained him. Usually before I go to sleep, I ask him to rub my back. It relaxes me and puts me close enough to sleep that I actually fall asleep shortly thereafter.

So one night this week, I asked, "Will you do me a favor?" His response was, "Roll over." I'd like him to just volunteer for the back rubbing, but I'm not complaining! I'm going to take full advantage of him being here.

Country Mouse, City Mouse.

So I grew up in the country. Our house was approximately 8 miles from Hometown, basically out in the sticks. I hated it more than anything while growing up, but now I can appreciate it.

Tonight, on the way to stalk our new house, I took the "country" roads and saw hundreds of lightning bugs. I adore lightning bugs. I was never one to catch them in a mason jar, because I thought that was mean. I have always preferred to see them out, in the air, lighting up, the way they're supposed to.

I like where our new house will be. In one direction, you can go back toward civilization, to Charlotte. In a couple of other directions, it's pretty remote. To the point you're not sure those living there have teeth or running water at home. But then a mile later, there's a Walgreens. It's weird. But I love it.

So the result of tonight's stalking trip...

Holy crap!! It's going up FAST!!

Happy Father's Day... TO ME.

So. Today is Father's Day. My Daddy and Pa are enjoying their Amazon gift card and pound cake (respectively) in Louisiana. Bob, being the sweet fella he is, went to see them this weekend, along with visiting his Aunt and Uncle. It sucks that he isn't here, but I'm glad he's able to see our families. Hopefully I'll get to see him next weekend. Maybe. (For Father's Day, Bob got a flask with a unicorn on it from the fuzzy butts, in case you're wondering.)

Anyway. With today being Father's Day and all, we knew grills would be on sale. Bob likes charcoal, I like gas. This will be an ongoing debate in our home for as long as we're together (kinda like Christmas decorations). We found a grill that combines both- gas on one side, charcoal on the other. But until we're sure what we'll want in the new house (built in outdoor kitchen or whatever), we aren't buying that one. I bought a different one instead. Today. For me.

A few months ago, I bought a baby table top grill from Target for $20. It suits me just fine, but Bob thinks it's dangerous and wants something bigger. For me. Since he hates gas. Makes sense huh?
Anyway, I've been on the hunt for a grown up, on sale, gas grill for the last week. I finally found one, and drove all over south Charlotte trying to find one 1.) in a box that 2.) wasn't damaged 3.) at a Lowes. Three Lowes stores later, I found one and purchased it. While in the check out line, I had the following conversation with the guy in line behind me:

Dude: Daddy wanted a grill, huh?
Me: NO. (pointing to myself) Mama wanted a grill.
Dude: Oh. So you're a single Mom?
Me: No.
Dude: But it's Father's Day...

Really? I can't just go buy myself a grill on Father's Day? People like this drive me crazy. I learned a long time ago not to assume anything or make judgements too soon. I'll judge the hell out of you once I know you, but not before. I'm just polite like that. Kidding. Kinda.

My Daily Homeless Encounter.

So. I go to several different facilities during the day. One of them is in the ghetto. I mean, straight up. Stray gun shots, broken down cars, and lots of foot traffic are normal. The facility is gated and  super nice. One block out of it though, is sketch city.

A couple of blocks away there is a really busy intersection that is a favorite spot for homeless people to beg. There's one guy who I see on pretty regular basis. I've tried to offer him granola bars, but he turns them down, despite the sign he holds saying he's hungry.

Today, knowing I had nothing to offer him, I just played on my phone while sitting at the red light. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him standing outside my window, gesturing wildly, trying to get my attention. I rolled down my window and this was our conversation:

Me: Yes, sir?

Him: You STILL texin'? (I'm assuming he said this, because I grabbed my phone and looked down as soon as my car stopped rolling.)

Me: Yes. I am.

Him: You idiot. Stop textin' and drivin'.

Me: I'm STOPPED AT A RED LIGHT...not driving.

At which point the light turned and I drove away as he flipped me off. It makes me want to avoid that intersection from now on. I mean, if you won't accept the food I offer you, don't harass me for sitting peacefully at the red light.

Myrtle.

One of my very best friends, Fertile Myrtle, reminded me today of her pregnancies. She has two adorable little guys (my "nephews") and she has not had one single bit of trouble conceiving. She got off the pill and was pregnant before she even had a period. Twice. Bitch. Kidding. Kinda.

It was so easy for Myrtle, but I have other friends who spent years trying, miscarrying, and trying again. The thought of a miscarriage scares the crap out of me, which is why no one will know I'm pregnant until the 12 weeks mark AT THE EARLIEST. As I get older, the threat scares me even more.

I'm also afraid of the possibility of multiples. I'm going to be an old(er) mom AND twins run in my family. Yikes. Not that I wouldn't love to have two babies, it's just that my body won't like me if I try to carry two babies at once. I have a whole host of health issues that will be complicated by twins. Hell, they'll be more complicated with ONE baby at a time.

Getting pregnant.

So. Here it is. 

Bob and I are officially trying to have a baby. I went off birth control 30 days ago today. We aren't telling anyone, which is possibly the hardest thing ever to keep quiet. And if/when I do get pregnant, holy balls! How am I going to keep that private? I'm usually an open book... I mean WIDE open.

I have a pretty big issue when I hear someone is under 12 weeks pregnant and they're telling everyone. I've had too many friends who have suffered miscarriages. I can't even imagine going through that myself, much less having to deal with having to tell other people I lost a baby. It just seems to devastating.

As of now, I haven't started my period yet. According to the Triage Nurse at my gynie's office, this is normal, especially considering that I took my birth control pills continuously (for over a year) so I wouldn't have a period. Life is funny that way. I've spent years not wanting a period and now, I'm impatiently waiting to start one.

So far, I've taken 4 pregnancy tests in the last month. Each time I've taken one, it's been a let down. Even Bob has gotten excited about anticipating the results. We need to just slow down, take life as it comes, and patiently make a baby. As the triage nurse today said, "No pressure and don't stress, but have as much sex as humanly possible all the time." Mmkay. I'll get right on that as soon as I get my husband back in town!!

*(Disclaimer- all pregnancy related posts have been imported and added after the fact!)*

It's got good bones.

Soooo. The pins came out. Holy balls. It was awful. There's a video of it on YouTube, courtesy of Bob. I haven't watched it yet, but I sent it to a guy friend today who proclaimed, "That's some seriously awesome shit!" So naturally, I can't wait to watch it... Not. But my foot is somewhat healed. The bones are where they're supposed to be, leaning the direction they were meant to, and I don't have permanent metal keeping them that way (unlike my right foot).

Now I'm stuck nursing a dried, cracked, swollen, oozy foot. You barf yet? Yeah. I have. My foot is that gross. Bleh. This poor mangled thing is in need of some serious attention, which I am happy to give, especially considering Bob left again today to go back to training. Boo. And again, if you're reading this and you need this surgery, let me know if you wanna see pics. I have weekly updates from both surgeries.

I actually have a pretty exciting weekend planned, and I'm already looking forward to it. A friend from work is hosting a Thirty-One party, which appears to be right up my alley. I also have shopping planned with my girls... One girl is going shoe shopping with me to find shoes that I can actually wear (starting next week!!). The other girlfriend is house accessory/furniture shopping with me. She just moved into a new house and we'll be in ours soon. Hopefully. I'm going to go ahead and start sale shopping for accessories so I don't have to purchase everything at once. It'll be bad enough with all the furniture we have to buy...

Speaking of houses... ours was framed today! We have vertical boards that resemble the walls. WOO HOO!!!!!

 

Sadly, our friends are already picking out "their" bedrooms. And even worse, they will each have their own. We may have picked a floor plan much too large for the two of us. Oh well. Guess we'll need to start having some babies to fill all those bedrooms. 

Boot be gone!

Sooo. Guess who gets out of a boot in less than 2 weeks? THIS GIRL! I'm super crazy excited. My pins come out on Monday, and then I'm in the boot until the doc is comfy with me walking without it, which I estimate to be two weeks. Mainly because I'm not wearing this damn thing any longer, whether he agrees or not. Screw you, doc.

Bob is coming home from training this weekend so he can be here for my pin removal on Monday. I get a smidge queasy and fainty in these situations. I'd rather him be there than just a friend. Not that my Charlotte friends aren't amazing... I'd just prefer my Bob there.

I went out to see him last weekend. We've done a pretty good job of seeing each other on weekends. He's traveled here more than I traveled there, but that's to be expected considering the boot situation. Although the experience was pretty pleasant last week. I have to say, airport peeps go above and beyond for those physically impaired. Or at least they did for me. It was a cluster to actually get to the airport, but once there, it was all smooth sailing... flying.

-I had a lighter suitcase. I can't wear a lot of pants unless the legs roll up over the boot, so I packed only dresses. I also only had to pack one shoe per pair, which saved a lot of space and weight.
-I was able to hitch a Skycap ride and not look like a lazy asshole. It was amazing. We left out of E terminal in Charlotte, which is the furthest from civilization. The walk would have been horrendous... I'd STILL be walking.
-I was able to upgrade to first class. More room equals easier sitting with the boot.
-Free booze in first class paired with a Tramadol made it a pretty sweet flight.
-At every turn, someone was asking if they could help.

Bob suggested I keep the boot handy and use it every time I travel. I'm not sure I could do that, but it sure did make traveling a lot easier.

Special moments.

Today I had planned on rushing through my last patient's appointment so I could get home to meet our contractor. When I arrived in the memory care unit of my facility, I found my patient with her husband, who had come for a visit. Once I realized he was there, I knew I could not rush through anything, mainly so he could see her progress and what I was working on with her.

We did our usual exercises (with her seated in her wheelchair), and then I began my bi-weekly ritual of enticing her to stand up and walk. I typically have a very hard time and today was no exception. Once her husband realized he could assist me, he stood in front of her walker and invited her to hug him. The first time she stood up, she hugged him and gave him a kiss. The second time she stood up to hug him, he had tears in his eyes. He looked over her shoulder at me and told me this therapy session might just be better for him than it was for her... it had been around 6 months since she had stood up to give him a real hug.

While I was about half way through my 30 minutes with her, the contractor called and left me a voicemail saying he would be late (I had to step out to grab something and so checked my messages).

Everything worked out perfectly. I was able to slow down and spend extra time with my patient and her husband. It was so beautiful to give this couple a chance to be "normal" again. To stand up and hug each other. To see them swaying as if to dance, which they both loved to do when they were younger. As I was leaving, he stopped me and thanked me for my work with her. He said he'd try to coordinate his visits with her to coincide with our appointments, not just to help me stand her, but so he could get some more hugs. He said he'd let his kids know when they could come get their hugs too.

Days like today make my years of education and years of searching for the "right" job worth every painstaking second.