My Hazy.

So here we are. Getting ready for Charlie's first Christmas. It's been an emotional one for me. Being here in Hometown, knowing how excited my family is, makes me realize how excited everyone else would be too... My grandparents and aunts who are no longer here. 

Earlier this week, a cousin started a facebook thread asking for my Aunt's fudge recipe. This became a tear-filled stroll down memory lane. Then today, my Mom brought over a binder of my aunts recipes. Her favorites. She made notes and commented on which she loved, what she did differently, and how she made them. She also marked down the date she made it and who was there. There were so many "made with Rachel" recipes in there. On all of them she commented on, she signed it "Hazy." I'm the only person who called her Hazy. Only me. Looking through this binder today, which she compliled in 2004, from recipes she had dated as far back as 1985, I realized she made it just for me. I didn't even know this binder existed. So today as I sat, crying, laughing, and remembering this crazy, amazing lady of mine, I felt her love. A lady I've missed every day since 2007, I felt her. Today.  And it was incredible.