Part of my heart.

I'm typically a pretty sentimental person. I cherish my family and the relationships I've built. Some very important people in my life are no longer here. My Mamaw, my great Aunt Sara, otherwise known as Hazy, and my great grandmother, Grandma. There are others, but these three have recently, within in the last 10 years, passed away.

Oh how I wish they were still here. I want to so much to pick up the phone and call my Mamaw, talk to her about having a baby, to get her advice, to go pick her up and take her to dinner. I'd like to go to my Hazy's house, with a pizza and cheese dip in hand, and talk about the rest of our family and how I'll need to make sure I raise our kid to be normal, unlike the rest of the family. And I'd like to be able to take our child up to Grandma's farm so he/she will learn all about animals and the responsibility of a farm, just as I did as a child.

I miss these women an incredible amount. Earlier this week, one of the residents at my facility started singing Mamaw's favorite hymn. Just to hear that song, I immediately started crying. She, along with Hazy and Grandma, were so important in my life, and they still are. They would be so proud of the marriage that Bob and I have and the life we've built. They would be ecstatic over the baby. I mean, ridiculously ecstatic. Mamaw would teach baby all the Bible stories and how to properly till a garden. Hazy would teach baby all the good cuss words and how to make a mean margarita. And Grandma would teach baby about how to raise chickens and how to make an killer wedding cake. These are some of the things I learned from these amazing ladies. Things that are now my responsibility to pass on to baby. I can't wait to share these things with our kids. They will know all about the important people these lessons came from and how awesome they were!

A bump!

So I finally broke down and went shopping for maternity clothes. Actually shopping, not just perusing Target. I went to Gap and Destination Maternity.

Turns out, I DO have a baby bump in the right clothes. And I'm not sure I'm ready for the attention that bump will bring. I've been hiding it pretty well so far. I haven't told everyone at work that I'm pregnant, but when I roll in tomorrow in my newly acquired maternity pants, they'll all know. I didn't realize I wasn't ready until tonight when I was trying to decide what clothes to wear. It's just going to be weird.

Somedays you're the pigeon, somedays you're the statue.

Sometimes I need reminding of what I'm doing. A reminder of how awesome it will be in another 6 months. This morning was one of those times.

My sister in law sent me a cheesy, but much needed text this morning. It was a picture that said, "Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle."

This morning, I called in sick to work. For the last few days, my morning sickness has been a little crazy. It's just like mine and Bob's kid to do this... Kind of a- Hey mom, you're in your second trimester now, but boy are you going to get sicker by the day!

Today, after eating some ritz and going back to sleep, I woke up and took Hank outside. While downstairs, I needed to throw up. I went into our downstairs bathroom. While in there, Hank decided he'd also throw up all over our mudroom, in view of me, of course. So once I finished, I walked through and got some paper towels to clean it up. As I was cleaning it up, I got sick again. En route to the toilet, I slipped and fell in Hank's puke. And then I puked on the floor too. I banged up my knee and bent my not yet bendable big toe all the way back. So that left me sprawled out in mine and Hank's puke, with a hurt knee, and a throbbing toe. Crying. And still needed to barf. Again. Of course.

When I say this has been an awful morning, I mean it's been truly awful. Now please excuse me while I go puke again.

12 weeks!!

Look! It's a baby!! 12 weeks last Thursday and measuring perfect.

I can't even express how crazy it was to see this little thing jumping around during my ultrasound. How very surreal. He/she was very active Thursday morning. It was hard for the tech to get a good picture. Mainly because I was crying and my stomach was heaving from it. Cried the WHOLE TIME.

I am so ready to meet this sweet little thing! Gah! March is so very far away.

Big Booty.

So. I'm at that stage where I don't look pregnant, but my clothes don't fit any more. My boobs are too big, and my belly is too bloated. Today, I stopped at Target to pick up some maternity clothes. Guess what Target sucks at? Maternity clothes. They had ONE PAIR of maternity pants. ONE. So I bought a belly band. Hopefully that will help my tight waist band issues. My pants still "fit" but they get a smidge tight when I sit down. As far as the boobs go, I'm still looking for options. My plan is to hit up Destination Maternity this weekend. I don't need much, just some clothes for work mainly.

The few people who know I'm pregnant are counting down to Thursday. Everyone is stupid excited to share our news. I'm ready to tell all of my friends too. It's hard keeping something like this a secret! However, once Thursday around 10am happens, it'll spread like wild fire, I'm sure.

Pictures to come!!!

11 weeks!!

So. Here we are. Blogging from our new house!

A couple of weeks ago, I flew to Hometown for a birthday party, but mainly to tell my family I was expecting. They took it.... well. I told my Daddy at the airport when he picked me up. I wasn't sure I could keep quiet the 30 minutes from the airport back home. So he found out in the parking lot of the Monroe Regional Airport. He cried and giggled for about 5 minutes before he could compose himself enough to take the car out of Park.

From there, we went to my g'rents house, where I told them. My gma, a pretty calm lady, handled the news with a simple "congrats." I thought that was a smidge strange given her neeeeed for a "great grandbaby." Well, turns out, I shocked her into silence. Her later and continued excitement has been nothing short of ridiculous. I love it.

I was also able to tell my two best friends in Hometown. They are two very important people, and I wanted to tell them in person. So Fertile Myrtle and Kat are both stupid excited as well.

I go back for my 12 week ultrasound and bloodwork on Thursday. I am very nervous and excited. I'll be going alone since Bob has to work. I keep thinking, what if something has happened. But then I throw up again or someone hugs me and kills my boobs. Those are not so gentle reminders that I still have symptoms of pregnancy.

As I think I have stated before, I am scared shitless of miscarriage. The wife of one of Bob's friends had one last month, at 8 weeks. She's had a long hard year, losing her first baby last year during childbirth due to her dumbass doctor. And now losing her second after 8 weeks. I cry for her daily. I cry for her and pray for both of us.