Christmas week in pictures.

After attempting to leave Hometown for several days, we finally escaped yesterday. We had to drive to Dallas (4 hours) and catch a flight from there. It was worth it. Someone was very happy to see us.

One of my bffs got her kids a baby bulldog for Christmas and we got to meet her on Christmas night. Theirs died a couple of years ago and the kids wanted another one sooo bad. So, meet Duchess.

Bob was smitten.

Every other year my entire extended family does a massive Christmas Eve function at my g'rents house. This year, Bob was tasked with carving the turkeys. As you can see, Pa trusted Bob with the electric knife, but stood at the ready just in case Bob couldn't handle it. Of course, he did just fine.

Since we were all together on Christmas Eve, we celebrated what would have been my 

Great Grandpa's 100th birthday.

Once all the peeps left, we exchanged gifts as our little family unit. Bob and I are starting a matching Christmas pj's tradition. This year I bought them. Next year he will.

Our stocking haul. We both got tons of crap. We're excellent crap givers. 

Bob got golf sleeves, peanut butter go cups and jelly, hand warmers, a nose hair trimmer, a red solo cup coozie, shaving cream, chapstick, mini tooth brusher things, a "Hot Stuff" spatula, a Pez dispenser (to add to his collection), candy, a "Rules for Husbands" mini book, 

and a mini inflatable unicorn horn.

I got Golf for Dummies, candy, a leg lamp, and the movie "Ted."

But this isn't crap. The leg lamp night light in my stocking... it rocks.

Now that we're back home, we decided we've had enough travel to last us a few days. Its so nice to be all snuggly and warm at home with our favorite kitty!

End o' the world.

As I read Bob's facebook post tonight, I remembered the world is supposed to end tomorrow. I had forgotten. Bob didn't forget though, but he's not having as good a night as he hoped.

"Couldn't find hookers and blow in Maine, so back to the hotel and see if I wake up after the world ends tonight."

He wanted to go out with a bang. Poor guy. Hope ya'll have more better access to hookers and blow tonight. Enjoy, peeps.

So long, fare well, old friends. Forever. Or until my next blog post. Either way.

Merry Christmas to ME!

Since Bob and I will be traveling for Christmas, we exchanged gifts last night. We'll be together Christmas Eve and Christmas morning (in between his work trips), but we won't be here. Shipping all our gifts was just too much. We're still doing stockings on Christmas morning, but we did our big gifts Tuesday before Bob left for work again.

So. Bob did good this Christmas. Very good. I guess because I've been so good this year? As I mentioned before, I already got a Kate Spade (the New Bond Street Hadley), which is way more massive than I thought when I ordered it, and a set of World Markets dishes. Bob also got me a pretty sweet new vacuum, which I've already used and it rocks.

My big surprise gift was a diamond necklace. I mean, I put one on my list, but I never thought he'd actually buy one, especially considering all the other stuff he got me. I'm obsessed with my grandmothers every day necklace and I've been looking for one similar for years. Turns out, they don't make them like that anymore. So Bob, being so unbelievably awesome, had a duplicate one made for me! It's a baby version of my grandmothers and exactly what I wanted. I absolutely adore this new jewelry! He did so good. I'm entirely too spoiled.

Cousin's Christmas

This past weekend, we went to Bob's family's "Cousin's Christmas" in Louisiana. Since their grandmother passed away a few years ago, the first cousins get together and continue this family function she started. This is the first time Bob has been since 2008 because of deployments. We had a great time with everyone. 

Our Christmas tree at home. It's a HUGE improvement from Bob's 4.5ft tree. 

Please excuse our crooked star.

Sweet snuggles with SJ. She's just so damn cute. Her little personality is really coming out. 

She's a sassy, cute, sweet little thing!

This is the gift Carly and family gave us this year. She had a friend go by the house where Bob and I had neighboring apartments in college and take a picture. I absolutely love it! It's already on our bookshelf now, but I'm thinking it needs to go somewhere else more prominent. 

It's such a super cool, thoughtful, sentimental gift!

Bob did NOT pack for the Louisiana weather changes. Yes, he lived there for years, but failed to properly plan for the 40 degree temperature changes. We drove over to Hometown to visit with my G'rents for a few minutes and my Gpa INSISTED that Bob take some of his clothes back to Monroe with us. Here's Bob in Pa's pleated pants and pearl snap button down. Stylin'.

For Cousin's Christmas, we were responsible for a dessert. Since we flew in, I didn't exactly have a chance or opportunity to make a ton of stuff. So I quickly made some peanut butter rice crispies and we bought a massive gigantor cookie cake. So yeah. Here's Santa.

Upcoming Fight.

My Charlotte bff, Jess, recently married one of Bob's friends. Jess, Chris, and Bob have all been friends for a few years now. Jess is one of those people you just instantly love. The first time I met her I knew we'd be good friends. And we are. Her husband, Chris, is also a pilot and is gone a lot too. He and Bob have similar schedules, which means Jess and I are usually "single" at the same time.

And what do we do when we're "single" together? We go to the bar and watch football games. No lie. It's so sad, but we both love football. Usually we end up shopping or baking afterward, so it all works out. This past Sunday after the game, we spend 3+ hours in Target. At least 30 minutes of that was spent on the baking aisle and another 30 picking out wrapping paper. I don't know why. We just ended up parking on an aisle and talking about random stuff. Which apparently we did all over the store since we were in there for so long. By the time we left, security was tailing us. I assume they thought we had sticky fingers. We did not. Hmpf.

Anyway, a couple of weekends ago we ended up at the mall, where we each purchased the most amazing blankets ever. She had already received one as a wedding gift, but they were on a pretty massive sale, so she bought another (as a "gift" that she'll never actually get around to giving to anyone, but Chris doesn't need to know that).

I'm telling you... This is the blanket to end all blankets. We bought them during a $25 flash sale in store, but the full price is worth every penny. I have snuggled up to it every single day since the day I brought it home. And even better, Jack hasn't found it yet. He still molests his old regular blanket. I'm dreading the day when he realizes what I've got. It's going to be an all out fight to the death to see who will win. It's that good. Pinky promise.

Christmas Surprise?

So every year, I pay attention. I listen all throughout the year. I keep notes in my phone. I pin to a gifts board. When Christmas comes, I give people things they have mentioned all year long. I LOVE doing this, because nine times out of ten, the people forgot they said they wanted it. Or forgot they said it to me. Either way, it's a good surprise.

However, this backfired with Bob's gifts. So very often, he says, "You can get me that." And I did. Get him that. Lots of thats. So now he's getting lots of small gifts and a couple of big ones. I've relegated a lot of them (the smaller boxed ones) to stocking stuffers. This means, though, that his stocking will NOT be held up by a measly little stocking holder. It's going to be damn heavy and damn full. And the things he isn't getting for Christmas, he's getting next month for his birthday.

I gave him my present list a few weeks ago. Just about every week, he's asked me to resend it to him because he "lost" it. So each time I've sent it, I added to it, mainly just to see if he was paying attention. He was. And so far, I've already gotten most of it (because I bought the damn stuff). I (using Bob's credit card) purchased my new Kate Spade (earlier this year during a sample sale) and bought (washed and put away) my new set of dishes last weekend (when World Market had a secret 50% off dining flash sale... woo hoo for being a "World Market Explorer"). There's a rather large vacuum cleaner shaped box beside our tree (chill, feminists... I asked for a new one). Overall, I'm reeeally excited about these gifts. No, they aren't surprises, but they're totes amazeballs!

I hope he's as excited about his gifts as I am about mine! I have a feeling he will be.

Baby free zone.

There's been a lot of baby talk in and around our house lately.

I have a serious aversion to poop. Any kind of poop really. People. Animal. Doesn't matter. The other night I had a dream that I gave birth to a monster sized baby, like a 25lb baby. She was huge. And her poop looked and smelled like chocolate oatmeal (if that's even a thing). So in my dream, I was so proud of myself for being able to handle her poop. I remember thinking, "This isn't so bad! I can do this!" And then I woke up.

I had this dream after reading CNN.com and seeing the top 100 baby names list for 2012. I always like to look. I like to see the name trends. My middle name, for example, is still in the top 40. It was my Great Aunt's name too. So it's been popular for going on 70 years solid. I like that. Names that mean something and last for a long time.

Anyway, it seems like every day Bob and I are faced with more baby conversations from very different people. Everyone is ready for our baby, except for us. That's a problem, right?

For the record, it will be a while before we have a baby Guy. A loooooong while if we have anything to do with it.

Bleed Tech Blue.

So I went to Louisiana Tech and they've an amazing football season, with the #1 offense in the nation. Unless you've been under a rock tonight, you've heard that Tech turned down a bowl game, which would basically have been a home game. If they'd accepted the game, they would have played ULM, our neighbor just down the interstate. It would have brought back the I20 rivalry, which went on for years and years. Independence Stadium in Shreveport would have been packed to the gills.

Instead of accepting this game and giving the incredible seniors an awesome end to their near perfect season, Tech declined the Independence Bowl in hopes of being offered a "better" bowl option (which they did NOT get). Another rumor is that they didn't want to play ULM out of fear of being embarrassed by being classed with them. There are talks of it being too expensive for Tech to participate. Whatevs.

On top of all this, we're going to lose our coach after this season. Tech has always been a stepping stone school. We get mediocre coaches, they turn the team and themselves into super stars, and then they leave. Tech's coach is currently being courted by some pretty impressive universities and football programs. I will put money (or rice crispies) on him leaving before the 2013 season, especially after all this bullshit.

I've been a Tech fan my whole entire life. I grew up in Joe Aillet Stadium, the Thomas Assembly Center, and Love Field. I'll always be a Tech fan, no matter what the kids on the fields and the courts do or how well they play. However, if that asshat of an Athletic Director doesn't pull his head out of his ass, there will be hell to pay. Not hell from me, but hell from thousands of Tech alums and students.

We're a small, proud school. Our alums can be fiercely loyal. We take care of our own, especially a group of football players who played their hearts out all season, only to be shit on by the administration.

NBA legend Karl Malone ripped his alma mater on Twitter.
"I am Bulldog to the core, I am heart broken and embarrassed that our university would do this to Tech Nation. To our football and staff, this is exactly what is wrong with our university. Now it's time to get former athletes to run our program. I'm (6-foot-9) and not hard to find," Malone wrote.

Contract thief.

So when I can't sleep, I look at the mug shots online from Meck County. I like to see what the people's names are, what they're arrested for, and to see if their picture matches their reason for arrest. I like it when they're arrested for drugs paraphernalia and looked stoned in their pics. Or when they're pulled over for drunk driving and then are all disheveled in the picture.

Last night I couldn't sleep, so I scrolled through a couple of days worth of mug shots. And who do I see? OUR STUPID EFFING KITCHEN CONTRACTOR. Arrested for larceny (misdemeanor, $200 and up). So gawd only knows what he stole. Something worth more than $200.

Having had my house burglarized in Little Rock, I'm ridiculously paranoid about it happening again. I'm super careful about opening the blinds, carrying in shopping bags, and receiving shipping packages that are left at the front door. Now, I feel like he could have been casing the joint. Probably not, but my mind has been racing since I saw his ugly mug.

All our contractors (Head Fred sticky fingers and his workers) know Bob works a lot. They know I'm here alone. A lot. They know what we have, how large our ridic television is, what we have stored in our garage, and every item we have in our house. They also know we have guns strategically placed throughout the house (think Mr and Mrs Smith). That I'm unafraid to use, which my Mother pointed out is why they prob didn't mess with me. The entire reason we hired this guy was, because I felt comfortable with him. I felt okay being alone with him in the house. Well, I'll be damned if he isn't an effing criminal.

Ridiculousness.

Girl Meets World.

Do ya'll remember Boy Meets World? If you're a girl between the ages of 28-35, yes you do. Don't even try to deny it.

So I'm sure you've seen that there's a new spin off show coming out. Cory and Topanga's daughter will come of age in Girl Meets World. I will, without a doubt, watch this show.

I hope the producers, directors, actors, sound dudes, costume designers, and Kraft service guys know that if they eff this up, an entire generation of pissed off chicks will be after them. And I will be leading the charge. With a flaming pitchfork.

Formal Sunday and proper pickle placement.

Our friend, Tall Jay, not to be confused with Small Jay, has hosted "formal Sunday" for the last couple of years. We get all dressed up and watch football. This year, he's taken "formal" to another level. Last year, formal meant no jeans, suits for boys, cute dresses or slacks for girl. This year, "formal" for the girls means sequins and pearls. Omg. The formal part of formal Sunday was cancelled today. Mainly because it was cold as balls. So. For future weeks, I can pull out my turquoise dress from my friend Amy's Bat Mitzvah in 1993. It's amazing. Somewhere on my old blog, there's a picture, but I'm too lazy to go find it right now. Picture this... knee length with layers of tulle under the skirt, sequined sweetheart neckline, puffy off the shoulder sleeves. Fashion plate, baby. 

Anyway. Jay grilled burgers tonight. Everyone in the free world knows I cannot eat a hamburger without pickles. Not happening. So before I went over to Jay's, I asked... do you have pickles. Yes. Okay.

What did he have? Dill. Pickle. SPEARS. How the balls am I supposed to enjoy a hamburger (which is merely a vessel for pickles) with SPEARS? Omg. Yes, he got yelled at.

Not only do I need approximately 10-12 pickles per hamburger, they have to be placed in just the right position to ensure at least one pickle per bite of burger. If they fall out, they're replaced. They have to be the right temperature and the right thickness. I'm sort of pickle snob. Clearly.

Small appliance? I think not.

So something happened a few days ago and it's still very much on my mind. Maybe some of you have experienced this...

Thursday we went down to Bob's Aunt and Uncle's house in South Carolina for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a last minute decision since we weren't able to get back to Louisiana for the holiday.

We arrived at their house and they were already cooking. We all hung out in the kitchen, talking, nibbling, cooking. Aunt has a double oven and both were working overtime. I saw casseroles and cookies and pies coming and going from both. All of a sudden it dawned on me... Where's the turkey? There had been a turkey discussion, so I knew there was one involved somewhere. I know there are lots of ways to cook a turkey, so I started asking. Is the turkey being smoked? No. Being fried? No. Being roasted on a spit in the back yard? No. That's when Uncle lead me into the dining room/foyer.

Set up on a large card table, was the largest, most massive microwave I've ever seen. Turns out, it's a 1984 model. So that still begs the question... where's the turkey? IN THE MICROWAVE. They fully cooked a whole turkey IN THE MICROWAVE. Even more fascinating, they wrapped portions of it in aluminum foil. FOIL!! IN THE MICROWAVE. And it didn't blow up. And the turkey fully cooked. IN THE MICROWAVE. I'm obvs still flabbergasted by this.

The turkey was cooked appropriately and tasted very good. I have to say, I still prefer mine fried, but now I have a back up for when the fryer and oven are busy. IN THE MICROWAVE.

Have you ever had a microwaved turkey? I can now say... I have.

Post Thanksgiving Thankfulness.

So now that Thanksgiving is over and done with, and since I missed the majority of November, here's what I've been especially appreciating this month:

1. Recipes passed down from all of my grandmothers and great grandmothers. They are so very helpful and comforting when I'm having a bad day. For example, the last week I've kept my kitchen stocked with chicken and dumplins and peanut butter rice crispies, two of my Mamaw's specialties. It's obvs been a long week.

2. Garden and Gun magazine. I like to be reminded that it's okay to be Southern and to be proud of it. I usually get picked on for my accent and the things I eat. Reading all those articles written by fine Southern peeps makes me feel a heap better, ya'll.

3. World Market. We have quite a bit of stuff in our house from there. I'd say it's my favorite store.

4. Cheese dip. Really from anywhere. And any kind.

5. My snuggly, senile, asshole of a cat, Jack. Captain Snuggles when I need him to be. Feisty when he wants to be. Independent when necessary. It's been a rough 13 years, but we've made it through together.

6. Good hair days. My hair has always been flat, straight, thin, and fine. On those rare days when the humidity is JUST RIGHT, it's not frizzy but has body. Those are great days.

7. My grandparents. They've done more for me than they ever should have. They've bailed me out, cheered me on, and loved me my whole life. As an adult, I appreciate them more than ever. They worked hard and built a business from the ground up, and now they're appreciating the life they made. They inspire me to be more financially responsible, so one day I can do for my grandkids what they've done for me.

8. My Brother Little. He's a moody little shit, but my life would be so incredibly different without him. Even though his bedroom replaced my play room, I still couldn't pick a better brother little. Because of our mutual hatred of talking on the telephone, we rarely have lengthy conversations unless I'm in Hometown. But when we do get together, boy, get ready. Those 5-6 hour talks are amazing.

9. My parents. As different as they are, they've both had a profound affect on my life and still do to this day. It seems like we're all still growing up and ever changing, but our relationships stay constant. There isn't a single second of the day that I can't pick up the phone and tell them anything in the world.

10. Bob. He's my best friend, my cheerleader, my therapist, my first thought in the morning, and my last thought at bedtime. Being together now makes all the previous years seem wasted, although we both know we learned a lot from our past mistakes and relationships. We've been married for (almost) 7 months, and even now, a whole lifetime doesn't seem long enough to be with him. I'm so excited to see what the rest of our life together holds. If the last 10 years (and few months) are any indication, it'll be full of sarcasm, love, and enough snuggling to make even the most hopeless romantic puke for days. And cheese dip. And Jack.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving, peeps! I hope you've all had an awesome day full of love, family, and good food!

Weekend Recap... Wednesday Edition.

And it's full of randoms...

First, my friend Ashley sent me this picture from her wedding this past February. If you're unfamiliar with me, I'm the pasty white one who looks naked. So awesome. Gotta love an unobservant photographer.

 

We had our Kitchen Completion Celebration last Friday evening. Our Thanksgiving-style dinner produced a fried turkey, a tester chicken, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, chicken and dressing, and so many pumpkin pies that we sent one home with most of our guests. The food was amazing and having a real live kitchen back is incredible. 

 

Bob's Mom arrived here on Monday. Luckily Bob was off work all this week, so together, they made us a headboard! I'm in love with it. I still have some work to do on our room, like paint, coordinating pillows, and curtains, but I'll get there eventually. This headboard is a MA-JOR improvement. You can't see, but the mattress is our 6th (and hopefully final)... a Tempur Pedic Cloud Supreme Breeze. It's ah-mazing. I've never slept better. It's like a big, cold, cozy hug from your grandma.

So now that we're caught up, I'll probably be absent for a while. Stay warm out there, friends. It's mighty cold outside!

SJ Thursday.

Last year's lady bug is this year's ice cream cone! How cute is this little thing?! An ice cream cone with a cupcake candy bucket! According to her Mom, SJ was a natural at trick or treating. She obvs takes after her Aunt Candi!

Me oh my oh!

So. This is a light hearted/regularly bitchy post, but please know I've been a bundle of nerves on behalf of the entire northeast. I've checked in with all the people I know and everyone is fine. I know others are not. That others have homes to rebuild and lives to restructure. I understand your road ahead. I've been there, with 13 feet of floodwaters in my house, in a city mangled by mother nature, with no idea of how to start the process. Stay strong. Move forward. Rebuild. 

We've had a cold front in North Carolina. As you've probably seen, as Sandy moved North, a cold front came in her wake. Our temperature hovered around 50 degrees today, which to me, means I need to eat spicy food. Soooo. Cajun dinner for one planned by 10am. But then I didn't want loads of leftovers and invited some friends over to help consume.

I made jambalaya and crawfish pies. And yes, I've been singing this song all gd day long. I didn't make the file gumbo, but the rest was good enough without it. So I went to Walmart to get my crawfish tails for the pies. I grabbed an onion while I was there. But guess what? No onion when I got home. This is ONE of the reasons I hate Walmart. I think they do shit like this on purpose. They put ONE EFFING ONION in a bag by itself, on the bag turn style, you think you grab everything, but leave the onion behind. It's a conspiracy I tell you.

So I left Walmart and ran by the Teeter to get pie shells. Walmart doesn't sell the minis. Got home, couldn't find the onion, went back to Teeter. In the freezing ass cold rain. Not happy. So I get home with all my ingrediences, and open the crawfish tails. CUE JACK GOING NUTS. He's a cat. Of course he loves all seafood, particularly crawfish. A result of living in Louisiana for too long, I guess. So as Jack is sprinting through our house, across the bar, and attempts to dive into the sink, I'm cooking. Mass chaos.

Dinner was great. Friends were awesome. Evening is complete.

Weekend Recap.

Soooo, Now that this kitchen is done-ish, I'm refocusing on the rest of the house. And I hope you like a linky-loo. There are lots in this post.

1. Since last summer, Bob and I have had 5 mattresses. Yes, FIVE. Last week, we picked our (hopefully) sixth and final... a Tempur-pedic with cold technology. It's super awesome. One of our hesitations in buying one was that our friends said they were hot. We don't do hot, especially to sleep. So, Tempur-pedic finally came out with a "supreme breeze" bed, which is cold to the touch. Apparently everyone else is excited about these beds, because ours is on backorder until next Friday. Bleh. I'm already looking forward to a good nights sleep. It's been a while.

2. I hit up World Market and picked out new towels for our guest bath. This looks just perfect with our Marimekko shower curtain (which is discontinued, so no linky). I also got this incredible lotion/soap combo that smells heavenly. I usually can't do smelly stuff, but holy balls. This stuff rocks.

3. I've been looking for coordinating pillows for our sofa with absolutely no luck whatsoever. World Market had a curtain on sale that pulled everything together perfectly, but I already had curtains. Sooooo. One curtain = 3 pillows. The loverly Mrs. E whipped out her sewing machine and helped me with mah pillars. Please ignore our saggy sofa. That's our next big purchase. Bob just doesn't know it yet. Oops.

4. Today, I matured our guest room. And by matured, I mean I bought a bed frame so that room is no longer just a mattress on the floor and a television sitting on an upside down laundry basket. Pretty sweet, huh? Oh yeah. We were full on bachelor pad prior to today. I would show you the actual picture of the bed, but I need to replace the light bulbs in the room. It looks yellow. Gross. I was able to use my Pottery Barn duvet cover and the prints I bought a few years ago to spice it up a bit. It looks awesome. I'm headed back to Ikea later this week to buy an unfinished night stand/chest. I'm thinking of using a gray/green color paint. We have a house guest coming next week, so I'm full speed ahead to get this room/bathroom ready for her!

And that about sums up my working/decorating weekend.

Why Lifetime can kiss my aaaaask.

So. One of my all time favorite movies is Steel Magnolias. And when I say my favorite, I mean I can quote every line, word for word.

When Lifetime remade the movie with an all black cast, I was down with it. The actresses they cast in those iconic roles seemed pretty legit. However, they effed up with the words. It's not word for word, but close enough to show they tried and failed miserably.

Lifetime is proud of their remake and show it an absurd amount of times during the week. Every freaking time I see if playing on the channel guide, I get super excited. But then I realize it's the remake. If they'd said the same exact words as the original, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, when you rename Ouiser's dog Thurman, I'm done.

Sorry, Lifetime...

And about the title, have ya'll see this video? I love this child.

Wtf, over?

I spoke entirely too effing soon.

When dudes installed our dishwasher, they installed it crooked and when they drilled it into the wall, they split the wall. Then when they tried to close it, they broke the top of the door. Did they tell me this? No. I discovered it last night. AFTER I had loaded the dishwasher to capacity.

So last night, I HAND WASHED every single glass, goblet, dish, pan, tupperware, casserole, and eating utensil in our house. HAND EFFING WASHED.

The dishwasher part has supposedly been ordered. Our reinstall will be scheduled upon arrival of the new door.

Omg. Ridic.