New names.

I'm a little slow sometimes. Yes, I'm pregnant. Yes, I know I'm having a baby and this will likely change almost everything in our lives. But still. Last night, it just dawned on me that Bob and I will be Mommy and Daddy in a few short months. Of all of our names, given and nicknames, these are two we've never had before. It's weird to think about.

I've been thinking about planning ahead and the decisions we need to make: to bank cord blood, to use cloth diaper vs disposable, to breastfeed, which church to christen the baby, how many pack and plays and boppy's we need, whether or not to accept a free crib or buy a new one. I've considered all these things, but for some reason, I haven't considered them as "Mom." I've considered them as Rachel, as Bob's wife, as Dad's daughter, as Hank's mom. But not as Baby's mom. It's weird. I will be responsible for a whole 'nother person.  And it's scaring the shit out of me.

Myrtle.

One of my very best friends, Fertile Myrtle, reminded me today of her pregnancies. She has two adorable little guys (my "nephews") and she has not had one single bit of trouble conceiving. She got off the pill and was pregnant before she even had a period. Twice. Bitch. Kidding. Kinda.

It was so easy for Myrtle, but I have other friends who spent years trying, miscarrying, and trying again. The thought of a miscarriage scares the crap out of me, which is why no one will know I'm pregnant until the 12 weeks mark AT THE EARLIEST. As I get older, the threat scares me even more.

I'm also afraid of the possibility of multiples. I'm going to be an old(er) mom AND twins run in my family. Yikes. Not that I wouldn't love to have two babies, it's just that my body won't like me if I try to carry two babies at once. I have a whole host of health issues that will be complicated by twins. Hell, they'll be more complicated with ONE baby at a time.